Droning On
by katkat42
Summary: Chiktikka vas Paus, Tali's combat drone, and Legion's combat drone have run off together. Where have they gone? Originally written for the kmeme.


This was written for this prompt on the kmeme: Legion's combat drone and Chiktikka vas Paus the combat drone-much to the chagrin of their owners-fall in love, mate, and have little baby technicolored defense drones.

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**Droning On**

Legion was the first to notice Tali when she entered the armory. "Greetings, Creator Tali'Zorah," he said, then returned his attention to his workbench.

Jacob, standing with him, glanced up too. "Oh, hi Tali. Did you need something?"

Not even seeing Legion could dampen her enthusiasm today. "Hi, guys. I got a new shotgun!" She placed the case on an open workbench next to Legion and Jacob's. Legion's glance illuminated the case as she opened it.

"M-27 Scimitar," he intoned. "Manufactured by Ariake Technologies. Designed to pierce shields and biotic barriers, to be used against multiple enemies at short range. Ineffective at long ranges and against armor." He moved his gaze to Tali; the light reflected off her faceplate into Jacob's eyes. He raised a hand to block the glare. "Do you spend much time facing multiple enemies at short range, Tali'Zorah?"

"More than I'd like," grumbled Tali. She pulled out the shotgun and disassembled it. After spending some time examining, tweaking, and oiling its parts, she remembered Shepard's admonition to try to get along with the geth. "So... what are you working on, Legion?" she asked.

"Our combat drone needs repair," he said.

"Aaaand, I think... that does it!" Jacob added.

Indeed, the moment Jacob pressed the switch on the little drone, it floated off the bench, did three circles around Legion's head, and then floated to hover near Tali's hip.

"Correction: our combat drone _needed_ repair," amended Legion.

But Tali was more concerned that the little drone was poking at a pocket on her suit. "Hey - what're you - _Legion_! Can you - Hey! Chiktikka!" Tali's combat drone poked an antenna out of her pocket, wiggled it at Legion's drone, and then wriggled its way out.

Chiktikka bobbed in the air for a moment, spun in place, then did a series of loops and zipped off across the armory. Legion's drone bounced and gleefully gave chase. They followed each other around the room three times, then escaped through the door. Tali and Legion blinked at the door, then at each other. Jacob shook his head. "Did that really just happen?" he said.

Shepard ducked behind a crate to replace her thermal clip. She bounced back up to throw a shockwave at a group of geth, including a geth prime. "Tali! Legion!" she barked. "Distract this group with combat drones! Then help me take down that smaller group!" Two streaks of orange and blue followed the shockwave to the downed geth while their masters opened fire on the second group. Once the small group of geth was dead, Shepard yelled, "Good, now let's finish the - oh."

The two little combat drones, having felled the other geth, were circling the geth prime opposite each other. While the geth tried to track one drone, the other would zap it from behind. When the geth whirled around to find the drone that had hit it, the first drone would fire while the second evaded the geth. It looked absurdly like a pair of pyjaks taunting a varren.

In a surprisingly short time, the geth prime keeled over and shut down. Tali and Legion cued their omni-tools to recall their drones. But instead of instantly zipping back to their masters, the two little drones circled around each other in a kind of victory dance, getting closer and closer until - _zap!_ - they touched. One drone jumped back. The other wiggled. Then they touched again. _Zap!_

"Chiktikka! Chiktikka vas Paus! Get back here this instant!" called Tali. One drone, clearly Chiktikka, turned toward Tali, then back to the other drone. It _zapped!_ the other drone once more, then flew back to its master's side. But before it slid back into Tali's pocket, it turned toward the other drone one last time.

Legion meanwhile had corralled his own combat drone. Shepard looked between the two. "What was that?" she asked, bewildered.

"I have no idea," Tali answered. "Legion?"

"... Not enough data," said Legion.

Shepard shook her head. "Well, come on. We've still got a comms dish to blow up."

"Shepard-commander causes explosions in combat, even when victory is likely without their use. Do you... like to blow things up?" Legion asked.

Tali shook her head. "Legion, you have no idea."

The next day cycle, Tali wandered onto the bridge. "Joker, have you seen Chiktikka?" she asked.

"Your combat drone?" said the pilot.

"Yes. I was going to replace her battery after yesterday's fighting, but now I can't find her."

"That's weird." Joker checked under the bridge consoles. "I don't see any drones up here. EDI, have you seen Tali's drone this morning?"

EDI's blue hologram appeared on her console. "Yes."

Joker glared at her. "Well?"

"You asked me a yes-or-no question, Mr. Moreau. I answered appropriately. If my answer did not yield the information you desired, then perhaps you did not format your question properly. This is hardly my fault."

Joker rolled his eyes. "Semantic games from a piece of software. Where is Tali's combat drone right now?"

"I will tell you the same thing I told Legion. The combat drones are currently in the galley on the crew deck."

"Thank you, EDI," said Tali, turning to go. "Wait," she stopped. "Did you say 'drones'?"

"I did," said EDI. "Legion asked me the location of his drone as well. The drones are currently... together."

Noticing EDI's pause, Joker asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

EDI flickered. "Perhaps it is best if Tali and Legion go see for themselves," she suggested. "You will need to check inside the galley's cabinets."

"Well, I'll be doggone," drawled Mess Sargeant Gardner, peering into the open cabinet.

"Have you located the drones?" asked Legion, peering over Gardner's shoulder. Gardner would have found this irritating from anyone else, but Legion's head was illuminating his search.

In answer, Gardner pushed aside a box of ration bars in the back of the cabinet to reveal the two errant combat drones in the farthest corner of the pantry. Tali cocked her head. "Are they... snuggling?" she asked.

"Sure looks like it," chortled Gardner.

Six weeks later, Shepard got a call from Ken Donnelly. "Uh, Commander? I think you're going to want to see this... It's hard to rightly explain..."

Shepard groaned. "Bad news?" she asked, pulling herself away from her terminal.

"Nae, it's not bad, but... Legion and Tali might want to see this too, if they're awake."

"I'll be right down." Shepard could understand why Tali might get called to the engine room in the middle of the night, but Legion? She collected the other two from the crew deck before proceeding downstairs.

Once the three crew members joined Donnelly in engineering, Shepard folded her arms. "Okay, what's the big deal?" Her frown could make tougher men quake in their boots, but the engineer was almost laughing.

"This way," he said, beckoning them toward the drive core. The group entered to see...

"That is our combat drone," observed Legion.

"And Chiktikka," added Tali.

"In a crate," put in Donnelly.

"With a litter of combat drone babies," finished Shepard.

They stared in silence for a minute. Chiktikka nuzzled the baby drones while Legion's drone hovered protectively in front of them.

Tali clapped her hands. "They're so _cute_!" she exclaimed.

"Aren't they, though?" crowed Donnelly.

Legion regarded them a moment longer, his cowl flexing. "The engine room is well-shielded, warm, and removed from disturbance by most of the crew. A sensible place to reproduce." The geth turned to Donnelly. "Would you take ownership of one of the baby drones when they are ready to leave their mother?" he asked.

"Me?" Donnelly blinked. "Golly, I haven't had a drone since me bagpipes got stolen."

Shepard emerged from stillness to whack him in the back of the head.


End file.
